What We Do To Ourselves vs. What We Should Do

"The Lord will fulfill

his purpose in me."

Psalm 138: 8

  

     Being a multi-tasker can make us crazy.  We wear a dozen hats and try to give our all to every role we embrace.  My roles are: wife, mother, grandmother, daughter, sister, friend, writer, singer, speaker, child of God--and wannabe cook.
     I spend a lot of time feeling guilty about not doing anything great. I dip and dabble and feel like I'm only gaining a level of mediocrity in most areas of my life. Yet how can I give more? Do more?  There are only 24 hours in each day, and pardon me, but I like my sleep!  So how can I do better and be better? More whole. More exceptional. More purposeful.
     To try to figure this out, I did a little soul-searching. What lies below are my musings about one area of my life, my career--writing books.  Yet I'm betting a lot of the basic emotions and angst I felt are universal.  Replace the writing and book terms with terms that pertain to your work and life, and you might just find your own aha! moment.

    Anyway, that's the plan.  So here goes my revelation, for what it's worth....

     The other day I was thinking about possible book contracts, I felt guilty for being greedy and wanting more than just one, panicked at the thought of all those books to write if anyone did say yes, then doubtful that any of them would be bought, cynical in thinking that none of them would sell many copies anyway, scared that I might have all these ideas, but it just might be God's will to never let them be sold and thus, take away my identity as an author.  Guilt, greed, panic, doubt, cynicism and fear. Wow. That’s quite a burden I put on myself!  God hasn't done that to me!  He doesn't want me to feel this way.  Then why do I?
      What I should be feeling is pride and joy at having a lot of ideas to offer, excitement at the chance to turn my ideas into books, confidence that the right ones will be bought, hope that they will sell more than the last and reach the people God wants them to reach, and assurance that God didn’t give me these ideas for nothing. Pride, joy, excitement, confidence, hope, and assurance.  He gave me the gift of writing to be used, and nothing can take away my identity as an author--or as His precious child! 
      Lord, help us look into the details of our own busy lives, the gifts You've given us, and the challenges that stand before us.  Help us think positively about our quest to discover and live out our unique purpose!  Help us find JOY!

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